


Becoming a Monster

by Clovelyn



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Blue Lions Route, Female My Unit | Byleth, Gen, I guess angst, Male My Unit | Byleth, Minor Blood Mention, Spoilers, basically self-indulgent angst, death mention, dimitri misses byleth, during Timeskip, mental struggles, one chapter for fem byleth and one for male byleth, pick your fav
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-16 02:42:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20168716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clovelyn/pseuds/Clovelyn
Summary: [BLUE LIONS SPOILERS]After losing everything, Dimitri slowly gives in to his desire for revenge and bloodlust.An unexpected visitor makes him question his sanity.





	1. Female Byleth

**Author's Note:**

> Just so you get an idea, this happens during the time Byleth is missing.  
I'm not sure exactly at which point in those five years Dimitri escapes his execution, I haven't finished the route myself so if there's any inconsistency it's probably something I'm not aware of yet.
> 
> [IMPORTANT]  
I made two versions of this work for both male and female Byleth, it's the same story only with pronouns changed in case you prefer one over the other.

Crimson splattered on every wall.

Beat up corpses of what seemed to be Imperial knights piled up in a corner of the room.

A young man with blonde, messy hair and deep blue eyes standing in the center of it, lance on his hands dripping with blood. He was out of breath, shaking, his eyes disoriented due to the massive amount of adrenaline he had released during battle.

"Die… die… all of you!!" his scream echoed through the emptiness of the abandoned structure.

Dimitri fell on his knees, his nervous hands dropping his lance.

This was all so new to him, ever since he managed to escape his own execution, he had done nothing but run away. Killing had become a daily thing, it was necessary in order to survive, in order to carry out his revenge on the one that had taken everything from him.

Worst of it all, the only one left who could have helped him keep his emotions at bay, Dedue, was now dead.

He missed Garreg Mach, he missed the Blue Lions. His family and friends were all gone.

His beloved teacher was gone.

"Professor…"

Byleth's smiling face came to his mind. When was the last time he was able to see that soothing smile before she died? He couldn't recall. That smile now was nothing but a reminder of his past failures.

"I wasn't strong enough back then, I wasn't there for you… it's my fault you're not here anymore"

He leaned against a stone pillar, exhaustment starting to hit along with the pain of his wounds. He wiped his forehead only to meet with fresh blood, he was bleeding more than he expected, not enough to die from it, but enough to drain the last bit of energy he had left.

Dimitri's eyes began to close as he slowly started to lose consciousness, after all, it was hard to fight the urge to rest that had been chasing him for several days.

He fell asleep against the cold stone, nightmares torturing his already weakened mind.

As he opened his eyes, the room had gotten a lot darker and faint rays of moonlight were leaking through the cracks of the worn down ceiling. He had probably been out for hours, though due to his lack of sleep for the past couple of days it felt like mere seconds.

A shadow was standing at the opposite side of the room, the lack of light made it hard for Dimitri to tell apart any features, but he didn't hesitate to grab his lance to push himself up and point it at whatever threat was before him.

He was too weak, he could barely stand and some of his wounds were still open, but there was no way it would stop him from putting up a fight, he wasn't ready to die yet. Whatever would come his way, he would destroy it with his own hands, all for the sake of avenging those who had died for his own mistakes.

"Show yourself!!" the young prince took a weak step forward, wincing at the pulsating pain running through his limbs, begging him to stop straining them.

As soon as the mysterious figure walked under the light, his lance fell from his hands, a mixture of shock and relief spread all across his face.

Pale green hair that reflected the moonlight and gave it an ethereal glow, deep bright eyes in the same hue, an unmistakable feeling of comfort. For a moment he believed he must have been dreaming.

"P-Professor…?" Dimitri took another step, his knees about to give away from the pain.

Byleth stood there in silence, looking at him with those beautiful and kind eyes that always made him feel safe. For the first time in a long time, joy and hope filled his hollow heart.

"You're alive…"

When he first met Byleth, he had his doubts about her. He didn't trust her as a teacher, he was concerned someone as emotionless and hard to read as her would be suitable to lead the Blue Lions. He felt she didn't really care about them.

However, he couldn't have been more wrong.

Dimitri learned that Byleth was even more capable than she gave herself credit for, she was strong and caring, and little by little the prince grew heavily attached to her. He admired her too much, she was a true leader, someone he would have entrusted his life to.

That is until the day she disappeared.

He remembers very little of that cursed day she fell down the cliff, but the feeling of his heart coming to a stop the moment he heard her scream would haunt him until this very day. He couldn't bear yet again losing someone he held so dearly in his heart. He remembers the feeling of Dedue's strong arms stopping him from running recklessly after her, the feeling of his throat aching from screaming in desperation.

Everything that followed after that was nothing but a blur.

Would things have changed if he had been there with her? Would he had been able to save her? these questions ate at him every single day, making him question if he had made the wrong choices all along.

Everyone looked for her for months, himself included. He didn't want to lose hope, he refused to accept she was actually gone. However, the search was cut short when he was captured and betrayed by his own Kingdom. After that, his priorities began to change and he lost all hope of ever seeing his teacher again.

But now...

She was here, right in front of him, alive and well.

"Professor, I--"

Before he could say anything, he was met with an expression he never expected to see directed at him, at least not from Byleth.

Disdain.

"W-What's wrong, Professor?" he gave her a weak smile, unable to understand the reason behind her cold, emotionless glare.

She wouldn't say a word, she just stood in place, her eyes piercing his very soul. Dimitri could feel her disappointment hitting him like rocks and it was killing him inside.

"Professor, please, say something!"

The young man took another step, and to his surprise, Byleth took a step back.

_ Don't go... _

"If I'm doing something to bother you..." desperation flooded his eyes, taking a second step towards her.

Byleth backed off until the moonlight no longer illuminated her beautiful features.

_ Don't go... _

Dimitri's weak body gave in, falling forwards as he lost control of his own legs. The impact made some of his wounds reopen, splattering blood around him.

Deep down, he already knew this wasn't real. She wasn't Byleth, she was but an illusion created by his own mind. He knew his physical and mental exhaustion were taking a toll on him.

Byleth was long dead, and nothing would bring her back.

He knew this and yet refused to accept it, he was so desperate for comfort, so desperate for company. He needed to believe someone was still there for him, he was craving for a glimmer of hope that would drag him out of this hell.

"Professor! Don't leave me again, I'm begging you!" he called as he attempted to get up, failing miserably. He tried to reach out to her, stretching his hand towards the empty darkness of the room.

The hopeless young man dropped his head, cursing his own stupidity. Angry fist met with the floor, the sting of his bruises taking him back to reality.

"Have I gone completely insane?" he slowly sat up, looking at his bloodied hands.

How did it come to this?

Dimitri was no longer himself, no longer the man he used to be, his soul was tainted. In only a matter of months he had taken more lives than his former self had taken in his entire life, and to make matters worse, he hadn't felt an inch of remorse doing so.

If anything, he was starting to enjoy it. 

Every death by his hands felt like a step closer to accomplishing his goal of revenge. It felt good, it felt rewarding. Was this feeling of pleasure a way to cope with the horrifying reality of his acts? If he killed everyone standing in his way, would he continue to feel this way?

Maybe it was the best choice. He was already a murderer, he might as well embrace it once and for all.

_ I'm sorry, everyone... _

His lips curved into a twisted smile. It was already too late for him, there was no one to stop him, no one to save him. If he was going to be a monster, he would make sure to leave no place for doubt.

_ I'm sorry, Professor... _


	2. Male Byleth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [BLUE LIONS SPOILERS]
> 
> After losing everything, Dimitri slowly gives in to his desire for revenge and bloodlust.
> 
> An unexpected visitor makes him question his sanity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you get an idea, this happens during the time Byleth is missing.  
I'm not sure exactly at which point in those five years Dimitri escapes his execution, I haven't finished the route myself so if there's any inconsistency it's probably something I'm not aware of yet.
> 
> [IMPORTANT]  
I made two versions of this work for both male and female Byleth, it's the same story only with pronouns changed in case you prefer one over the other.

Crimson splattered on every wall.

Beat up corpses of what seemed to be Imperial knights piled up in a corner of the room.

A young man with blonde, messy hair and deep blue eyes standing in the center of it, lance on his hands dripping with blood. He was out of breath, shaking, his eyes disoriented due to the massive amount of adrenaline he had released during battle.

"Die… die… all of you!!" his scream echoed through the emptiness of the abandoned structure.

Dimitri fell on his knees, his nervous hands dropping his lance.

This was all so new to him, ever since he managed to escape his own execution, he had done nothing but run away. Killing had become a daily thing, it was necessary in order to survive, in order to carry out his revenge on the one that had taken everything from him.

Worst of it all, the only one left who could have helped him keep his emotions at bay, Dedue, was now dead.

He missed Garreg Mach, he missed the Blue Lions. His family and friends were all gone.

His beloved teacher was gone.

"Professor…"

Byleth's smiling face came to his mind. When was the last time he was able to see that soothing smile before he died? He couldn't recall. That smile now was nothing but a reminder of his past failures.

"I wasn't strong enough back then, I wasn't there for you… it's my fault you're not here anymore"

He leaned against a stone pillar, exhaustment starting to hit along with the pain of his wounds. He wiped his forehead only to meet with fresh blood, he was bleeding more than he expected, not enough to die from it, but enough to drain the last bit of energy he had left.

Dimitri's eyes began to close as he slowly started to lose consciousness, after all, it was hard to fight the urge to rest that had been chasing him for several days.

He fell asleep against the cold stone, nightmares torturing his already weakened mind.

As he opened his eyes, the room had gotten a lot darker and faint rays of moonlight were leaking through the cracks of the worn down ceiling. He had probably been out for hours, though due to his lack of sleep for the past couple of days it felt like mere seconds.

A shadow was standing at the opposite side of the room, the lack of light made it hard for Dimitri to tell apart any features, but he didn't hesitate to grab his lance to push himself up and point it at whatever threat was before him.

He was too weak, he could barely stand and some of his wounds were still open, but there was no way it would stop him from putting up a fight, he wasn't ready to die yet. Whatever would come his way, he would destroy it with his own hands, all for the sake of avenging those who had died for his own mistakes.

"Show yourself!!" the young prince took a weak step forward, wincing at the pulsating pain running through his limbs, begging him to stop straining them.

As soon as the mysterious figure walked under the light, his lance fell from his hands, a mixture of shock and relief spread all across his face.

Pale green hair that reflected the moonlight and gave it an ethereal glow, deep bright eyes in the same hue, an unmistakable feeling of comfort. For a moment he believed he must have been dreaming.

"P-Professor…?" Dimitri took another step, his knees about to give away from the pain.

Byleth stood there in silence, looking at him with those beautiful and kind eyes that always made him feel safe. For the first time in a long time, joy and hope filled his hollow heart.

"You're alive…"

When he first met Byleth, he had his doubts about him. He didn't trust him as a teacher, he was concerned someone as emotionless and hard to read as him would be suitable to lead the Blue Lions. He felt he didn't really care about them.

However, he couldn't have been more wrong.

Dimitri learned that Byleth was even more capable than he gave himself credit for, he was strong and caring, and little by little the prince grew heavily attached to him. He admired him too much, he was a true leader, someone he would have entrusted his life to.

That is until the day he disappeared.

He remembers very little of that cursed day he fell down the cliff, but the feeling of his heart coming to a stop the moment he heard him scream would haunt him until this very day. He couldn't bear yet again losing someone he held so dearly in his heart. He remembers the feeling of Dedue's strong arms stopping him from running recklessly after him, the feeling of his throat aching from screaming in desperation.

Everything that followed after that was nothing but a blur.

Would things have changed if he had been there with him? Would he had been able to save him? these questions ate at him every single day, making him question if he had made the wrong choices all along.

Everyone looked for him for months, himself included. He didn't want to lose hope, he refused to accept he was actually gone. However, the search was cut short when he was captured and betrayed by his own Kingdom. After that, his priorities began to change and he lost all hope of ever seeing his teacher again.

But now...

He was here, right in front of him, alive and well.

"Professor, I--"

Before he could say anything, he was met with an expression he never expected to see directed at him, at least not from Byleth.

Disdain.

"W-What's wrong, Professor?" he gave him a weak smile, unable to understand the reason behind his cold, emotionless glare.

He wouldn't say a word, he just stood in place, his eyes piercing his very soul. Dimitri could feel his disappointment hitting him like rocks and it was killing him inside.

"Professor, please, say something!"

The young man took another step, and to his surprise, Byleth took a step back.

_ Don't go... _

"If I'm doing something to bother you..." desperation flooded his eyes, taking a second step towards him..

Byleth backed off until the moonlight no longer illuminated his handsome features.

_ Don't go... _

Dimitri's weak body gave in, falling forwards as he lost control of his own legs. The impact made some of his wounds reopen, splattering blood around him.

Deep down, he already knew this wasn't real. He wasn't Byleth, he was but an illusion created by his own mind. He knew his physical and mental exhaustion were taking a toll on him.

Byleth was long dead, and nothing would bring him back.

He knew this and yet refused to accept it, he was so desperate for comfort, so desperate for company. He needed to believe someone was still there for him, he was craving for a glimmer of hope that would drag him out of this hell.

"Professor! Don't leave me again, I'm begging you!" he called as he attempted to get up, failing miserably. He tried to reach out to him, stretching his hand towards the empty darkness of the room.

The hopeless young man dropped his head, cursing his own stupidity. Angry fist met with the floor, the sting of his bruises bringing him back to reality.

"Have I gone completely insane?" he slowly sat up, looking at his bloodied hands.

How did it come to this?

Dimitri was no longer himself, no longer the man he used to be, his soul was tainted. In only a matter of months he had taken more lives than his former self had taken in his entire life, and to make matters worse, he hadn't felt an inch of remorse doing so.

If anything, he was starting to enjoy it. 

Every death by his hands felt like a step closer to accomplishing his goal of revenge. It felt good, it felt rewarding. Was this feeling of pleasure a way to cope with the horrifying reality of his acts? If he killed everyone standing in his way, would he continue to feel this way?

Maybe it was the best choice. He was already a murderer, he might as well embrace it once and for all.

_ I'm sorry, everyone... _

His lips curved into a twisted smile. It was already too late for him, there was no one to stop him, no one to save him. If he was going to be a monster, he would make sure to leave no place for doubt.

_ I'm sorry, Professor... _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back and I'm madly obssesed with this game!
> 
> I couldn't stop thinking about the scene where you meet Dimitri after the timeskip, he thinks you're just a hallucination and, if I recall, he mentions it's not the first time it happened.  
So I wondered how many times he could have hallucinated about Byleth and before I knew it I was writing!  
Again, I hope you can look past my poor english and enjoy this ^^
> 
> I'd appreciate that if you decide to comment you can keep it spoiler free 💜 not just for me but for anyone who happens to take a look.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back and I'm madly obssesed with this game!
> 
> I couldn't stop thinking about the scene where you meet Dimitri after the timeskip, he thinks you're just a hallucination and, if I recall, he mentions it's not the first time it happened.  
So I wondered how many times he could have hallucinated about Byleth and before I knew it I was writing!  
Again, I hope you can look past my poor english and enjoy this ^^
> 
> I'd appreciate that if you decide to comment you can keep it spoiler free 💜 not just for me but for anyone who happens to take a look.


End file.
